A Simple Way to Calm Yourself


Client after client has been coming into my office in the past few months saying they have managed to calm themselves in the midst of chaos around them. Want to know what they did? Their secret?

They have been combining our first two tools: the thinking & feeling technique with breathing.

When I’ve asked what happened & what have they done, here’s the scenario…….


Some type of drama is occurring around them, in their workplace, with friends or family, or out & about.


  • First, they do a “self check”.                                                                                                                     “I say to myself, let me first check in with my feelings, and with my thoughts’” one client told me.  They either mentally note or write out what their thoughts & feelings are before reacting to the situation.


  • Next………they breathe into how these feelings feel inside their body. Either on the spot or afterwards.


  • With this recognition of their thoughts & feelings, and breathing into how they feel, their thinking brain is less hijacked & comes back online. They now are more clearly able to assess the situation, decide what to do, and they feel calmer.



This sounds so simple, can it really be a strong indicator of success?!

Our feelings like to be noticed.

They like it when we pay attention to what it is we are actually feeling, and they like it when we breathe into them.


This is a skill……

just like learning to play a musical instrument or to play a sport. With practice comes improvement. In the beginning, when we are new at something, it feels awkward & clumsy.

But the more we practice, the easier it gets.


By improving on this tool, this skill, we’ll then build onto it to conquer anxiety……..coming up next blog post.


In the meantime, give this a try. Let me know what situations it worked for you in.